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Local Pagosa Springs News
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| HUMOR: All the Brands We Love, For Less |
| Louis Cannon | 3/8/10 |
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| Back to the News Summaries |
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While tending to my (moderately fragile) PayPal shopping account yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice the inviting display advertisement on the Login Page.
The ad looked like this:
I couldn’t resist the appeal of such an enticing offer — especially when it included a handsome couple, shopping so happily together. The guy even looked a little bit like me. I could easily imagine what the attractive young woman was saying, as she pointed with the hand already holding three shopping bags: "Louis, look there ... more of the brands we love!"
I excitedly clicked the "FIND DEALS" button.
Apparently, “all the brands I love for less” include Best Buy, Toshiba, Ralph Lauren, Kmart, Zales, Petco, and Tool King. And that was just for starters. PayPal had listed literally dozens of other well-loved brands as well.
Living as I do in the middle of a high-mountain desert in southwestern Colorado, I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve never actually shopped for most of these brands. I did once buy a Casio watch at Kmart, years back when Kmart had a store in Durango — though I guess, technically, that doesn’t actually qualify as purchasing the Kmart “brand” because the exact same watch was available down the road at Walmart, priced $1.19 higher. (I had dutifully done my comparison shopping as required of any shopper who loves brands "for less" — and I’m sure my wallet thanked me.)
But I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t even know what kind of merchandise they sell through the "Tool King" brand. I’m just guessing — cheap tools? The kind that work for a few months and then fall apart? But they are really low priced?
I would never think of arguing with PayPal, however, that these are truly “all the brands I love.” I'm quite sure PayPal spent literally millions of market research dollars carefully determining that Ralph Lauren, for example, is one of the brands I love.
In fact, I’m ready to admit it right now. In spite of never once, in my life, having bought a piece of Ralph Lauren clothing, I confess that I prefer Ralph Lauren clothing over nearly every other brand. Hands down.
Especially when I can get it “for less.”
 Of course, that little phrase, “for less,” is a bit problematic. “For less than what?” we might be tempted to ask. “For less than the price a of a new Toyota Camry?” That might not be a bad comparison, considering the recent news from Toyota headquarters. But surely, that’s not the comparison PayPal is attempting to make.
Perhaps they mean: “For less than you might pay in a Beverly Hills boutique?”
When you consider it carefully, the phrase “for less” could mean just about anything.
Personally, though, I prefer not to consider these things carefully. That takes all the fun out of shopping — especially when you main concern is getting all the brands you love, for less. And that's doubly important when you wife is already holding three shopping bags.
Near the bottom of the PayPal page, there was a button where I could view even more of the brands that I love for less. That page featured an alphabet list, A through Z, where I could click, for example, the letter “F” and find all the brands I love for less that begin with the letter “F”.
The brands listed were Fogdog, Fresh Pair, Footsmart, and FTD. I don’t know about you, but those are definitely my favorite brands for less that begin with “F”.
Under the letter “Z” were listed two more brands I love for less: Zappos and Zipzoomfly. According to the PayPal page, at Zappos.com I could get “Free Shipping BOTH ways on shoes” if I would simply click the link provided.
How’s that for “brands you love, for less?” Free shipping from Zappos.com — both ways, for shoes. What a deal. I was completely ready to buy some new shoes, right now. This must be what PayPal really meant by “for less,” I thought to myself. Free shipping certainly qualifies as a major component of the promise: “for less.”
Except that Zappos.com has always offered free shipping, both ways, at their website. And not just for shoes. They offer free shipping on everything: clothing, watches, handbags, sunglasses — everything single lovely item they have in stock.
So now, things were becoming clear. PayPal was not, itself, offering anything “for less” than anybody else — they were simply offering me a portal to a bunch of loving brands who regularly offer me stuff “for less” through their own websites.
Now I was curious. How much less were the shoes at Zappos.com? I clicked randomly on a shoe, just to have a look. I had picked out a stylish, high-heeled sandal made by one of the brands I love: the JUMP Tewa Sandal. The Zappos.com website claimed the Suggested Retail Price was $132.00, but I could buy this sandal at Zappos.com — with free shipping both ways — for a mere $94.50. On Sale!
A moment later, thanks to the magic of Google, I was looking at the exact same brand on another website, ShoeMall.com. I’d never heard of ShoeMall.com, and I noted that this was obviously not one of the brands I loved, because PayPay didn’t have them listed on its website.
But the JUMP Tewa Sandal at ShoeMall.com — with a seemingly identical photo — was listed with a Suggested Retail Price of $129.00. On sale at ShoeMall.com, the JUMP Tewa Sandal is priced at $51.99.
ShoeMall.com also has free shipping both ways, though they do have a $6.99 re-stocking fee for returns — unlike Zappos.com, which has no restocking fee. But even with the re-stocking fee included, an order for the JUMP Tewa Sandal from Zappos.com would cost me $35.52 more than the exact same shoe at ShoeMall.com.
If I had, in fact, loved the ShoeMall.com brand as much as I love the Zappos.com brand, then I might find the phrase “for less” — as used by PayPal — to be slightly misleading, because I generally take the term “for less” to mean “at a lower price.”
But maybe “all the brands you love, for less” really means something quite unrelated to price — something completely unexpected, and terribly exciting? Maybe the key word here is "love" — as in, I love this woman with her three shopping bags?
Only PayPal knows for sure.
When you really get down to it, of course, we all know that love — real, unconditional love — excuses all manner of sins. Didn't someone spell it all out perfectly, a long time ago — "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..."?
When you love all those brands — who really cares about low price? |
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